haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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