Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize