Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
