What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize