I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
