I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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