he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize