Your dad touched me again.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It's never too late to be topless.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
