i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
