I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
