why didn't you poke me back
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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