yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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