omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
