i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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