basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
