you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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