she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
