Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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