So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
