his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
