Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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