did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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