Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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