SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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