Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She just used a chaser for red wine.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
