You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
