Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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