I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
