Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
