my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize