lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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