do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Randomize
