just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize