matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
