Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
