You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
