I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize