I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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