Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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