And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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