I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
