You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
