All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
