i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I need to sanitize my soul.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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