I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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