i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
