how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
