I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
