you traded sex for a burrito?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
