he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
