i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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