I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
