And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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