there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize
