i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
