i barfeds in our rink
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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