Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
