is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize